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Showing posts from June, 2013

Pregnancy After Loss

I’m finding that celebrating my pregnancy is so different this time than it was with my daughter. Although I had experienced a loss before I had her, the circumstances then were completely different. I think the main difference was that I had not known I was pregnant until the day I lost the baby. I found out that I was pregnant in the same moment that I learned I couldn’t keep the baby. So I had not really formed a bond or spent any time learning to love the child that I lost that day. Also, since I hadn’t had any children previously, I had no idea what I had really lost. I didn’t know the joy of being a mother. I was very sad to lose that baby, and cried for many days. But I became pregnant with my daughter so soon afterwards that I simply put the mourning on hold and didn’t pick it up again for a very long time.
Since that day, I have lost three more babies - all three of them just last year. And as I mourned each of them, I mourned the loss of that first baby as well. And being pre…