Showing posts from September, 2012

Water Your Own Grass

I read this quote the other day and it really confirmed in my heart the importance of being content. Sometimes I think that we Americans have so much stuff that we are probably less content than most people who have far less than we do. Our stuff gets in the way of our happiness. But only if we let it.

It is so easy to get caught up in the comparison game. My friends just moved into a new house. It’s big. It’s beautiful. It’s brand new. It would be easy to be jealous of their house that is three times bigger than mine and 40 years newer. But what good would that do? Another friend of mine just got a new car. It is a big SUV. It has all the options. It’s amazing! It seems natural that I might think less of my car after riding in theirs. But what is the point in that? I have a girlfriend who had a beautiful little baby recently. She is smart and sweet and so much fun to snuggle! And don’t I want a new baby too? I could allow myself to become upset that I don’t have a sweet baby like her.…

Hold On To Your Inheritance

At church this week my pastor preached a message based on 2 Chronicles 12 called “Substituting Shields of Brass.” If you read that chapter in the Bible you will understand the title, but the basic idea was that people often ignore the blessings they have and go in search of something better. They often forsake the Lord and look for something more fulfilling - as if that exists. I have seen it over and over again. People who I once called dear friends have decided to give up the blessings that come with a life of service and love for the Lord in search of something better (or perhaps I should say “more fun”) and they never find it. Living a life in God’s will and protection is the best life there is! It is a wonderful life!

As Pastor shared the story of King Rehoboam I thought of the people who once filled the pews of my church and are now gone. Of course there are those who simply moved away and are still faithfully serving God in another church now. But there are many who have gone aw…

The Wrong Side of the Bed

Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Have you ever had a day like that? I wasn’t necessarily in a bad mood. I was just in some kind of funk. Perhaps the best way to describe it is that I felt low. Nothing huge and terrible happened to affect my mood, but I allowed dozens of tiny little things that didn’t go perfectly to bother me and bring me down.

I know that part of it was just the sadness that still sometimes creeps in every once in awhile since I lost the baby. It has been a month since my surgery and my cycle hasn’t returned yet so I took a pregnancy test. Even though I didn’t expect anything a negative test always makes me cry. And things just kind of seemed to go downhill from there.

And then in the evening service at church yesterday our pastor shared about his visit to see our missionaries in Papua New Guinea last week and as I looked at the images on the screen my attitude started shifting. Sometimes we just need to be reminded of the blessings in our lives in ord…

Make Today the Perfect Day

Yesterday I had the privilege of hearing a sweet lady from my church speak to a group of young mommies on being content where you are. Contentment is something the Lord has really been speaking to me about during the last year or so and especially as I have longed for another baby. I am learning (most days) to slow down and enjoy the family He has given me because the family He has given me is fantastic!

One thing the speaker mentioned yesterday was that women in my stage of life (married just a few short years with small children at home) often look forward and say, “I can’t wait until...” or “I want...” It’s so easy to do that isn’t it? For me personally I usually finish that sentence with “another baby.” I would love to give my sweet little girl a sibling. But the Lord has challenged me with this thought. What if there never is another baby? Can I be happy with the family I have now? Of course the answer is a resounding “Yes, Lord!” I could never deny that I have a wonderful husband…

On the M.E.N.D.

A week or two ago one of my friends told me about a group called M.E.N.D. It is Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death and it’s a group for women who have suffered miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant death. My friend asked me if I would go with her and my initial reaction was “No. I’m busy that night.” I really did already have something planned for that evening but I would have probably found an excuse not to go even if I didn’t. I have really struggled with the idea of grieving my loss. I try to tell myself that what happened was not a big deal. Even throughout my struggle with secondary infertility I haven’t felt like I’m allowed to feel sad about my circumstances. Part of that may be a cultural thing - I just haven’t ever spent a lot of time with people who really grieve “out loud.” And part of it was just that even though I have experienced pregnancy loss and secondary infertility I have seen women endure much more than I have and subconsciously I was afraid that those women might …

For His Glory

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi,who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.
- John 9:1-3

But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”
- John 11:4

I have been reading in John recently and came across these two passages just one day apart. In the first, Jesus’ disciples see a blind man and assume that his blindness is a punishment. They ask the Lord if his blindness was meant to punish his parents for their sins or to punish the man for his own sins. Jesus replies that the man’s blindness is not a punishment at all. The man was blind so that God would receive the glory when Jesus healed him. Imagine that, a man lived without being able to see for years so that he would one day have a part in bringin…

Book Review: Discovering the Ministry of Motherhood

Several ladies from my Bible Class at church have started a book club of sorts. We read non-fiction self-help type books on various topics including relationships, parenting, and personal spirituality. This month we read Discovering the Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. It was a great read with a great challenge - to raise our children with a purpose. I don’t really plan to do a true book review. I just want to share a few of the ways this book spoke to me.

One of the things Clarkson says in her book is that our children need “the authentic strength that comes from the true foundation of a biblical world-view and a proper understanding of the real Christ who is worthy of their worship.” Wow! What a challenge! This is definitely something I want for my daughter. I don’t want her to just learn about Christ, I want her to know Him. Clarkson goes on to say that we are meant to have a spiritual impact on people and that our children are our own in-home disciples in the making. I hav…


We all go through hard things in life. There is just no way around that. And a lot of times we hear that we need to move on and stop looking back. But I think perhaps it is more important that we strike a balance. Although we shouldn’t remain wrapped up in the past, we shouldn’t forget it either. It is our past experiences that shape us and teach us. We must keep the lessons we have learned from the things we have been through.

Because I recently went through my second ectopic pregnancy I started remembering the first. At that time I was younger and had not been trying for nearly as long to get pregnant. It was a difficult loss, but I was able to move on because the Lord gave me a successful pregnancy less than two months later. Now, having lost two precious babies I wanted a way to remember them. I wanted to remember the gifts God let me carry just for a few short weeks. I needed a way to symbolize these treasures I would never get to hold.

When I asked my husband if I could order the …

Whose Problems Do You Want?

Not long ago I read a poem called “The Changed Cross” about a woman who thought her problems were the worst of all. She was tired of her heavy burden and decided that she would like to trade it for another one that might be easier to bear. She tried picking up a few different crosses, one was too sharp and painful, one was too big to lift. She looked around and saw a cross that looked beautiful. It was covered in gemstones and was very ornate. She instantly decided that it was the cross she would like to bear. But as she tried to lift it she fell beneath its weight. It was far too heavy and she knew she could never bear a burden like that. She searched some more and saw a simple wooden cross that looked a little smaller. As she picked it up she was surprised at how light it felt. It fit comfortably on her. It felt almost natural for her to carry this one. And then she realized that this was the cross she had carried all along and had thought she wanted to trade for another.

I think we …

O Rejoice In The Lord

Today I just want to share some song lyrics with you. It has been on my mind a lot that when God allows suffering in our lives He is allowing us the chance to become more like Him. I want to emerge from my trials “as gold” - strong and beautiful with a purpose. I hope these lyrics are a blessing to you today!

God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the Lord though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.

O rejoice in the Lord.
He makes no mistake.
He knoweth the end of each path that I take.
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

I could not see through the shadows ahead,
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead.
I bowed to the will of the Master that day.
Then peace came and tears fled away.

O rejoice in the Lord.
He makes no mistake.
He knoweth the end of each path that I take.
For when I am tried and purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

Now I can see testing comes from above.
God strengthens His childr…

Tunnel Vision

Have you ever gotten tunnel vision? You get so caught up in the one thing that you are waiting for that you don’t see what else is going on around you. I recently read a news story about a couple of police officers who were chasing a “bad guy” in the streets of New York and while they fired at him they injured nine innocent bystanders. They got tunnel vision. They were so focused on the person they were trying to detain that they didn’t even notice the multitudes of people around them. As they fired their bullets at their target they didn’t even realize that they were shooting into a crowd.

Tunnel vision in our personal lives can be detrimental as well. I have shared with you my story of secondary infertility and pregnancy loss. It is a big part of my life right now and has definitely shaped who I am in ways both good and bad. But I have come to realize that I am guilty of being too focused on getting pregnant and may have been missing other more important things along they way. As I h…

When You Don’t Understand Why

Sorrow is something we have all experienced in our lives. No one is immune to it. Our world is a sinful place and we are always experiencing the results of that. It’s easy to tell someone experiencing sorrow all the same platitudes:

“The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

“All things work together for good to them that love Him.”

“God has a bigger plan.”

Those sayings are all true, and often we come to see that what we lost needed to be lost so that we could gain something better. But what about the times we can’t understand why? What happens when we lose something that can’t be replaced? What are we supposed to think then?

The summer that my husband and I were married was also the summer that my younger brother-in-law started seeing his girlfriend Ashley. She was in Hawaii for the summer with her dad and came home just a few days before our wedding. I instantly loved her. She was the kind of girl that never stops smiling, that hugs people she just met, that laughs so often and so loudly that…

You Don’t Have To Be So Quiet

One thing that has struck me during my journey in secondary infertility is how many women are going through the same thing and just don’t talk about it. I know for many women it is simply a matter of privacy - it’s something they’re not willing to share because it’s so personal. And I understand that. But when I first realized that I wasn’t going to just have as many kids as I wanted as often as I wanted and that I may not be able to have any more kids at all I felt kind of lonely. I knew one or two people who had faced this, but didn’t know if it was something they were willing to talk about or not. And there were so many people all around me getting pregnant over and over.

Face it, we hear this ALL the time: “We weren’t expecting this baby! It’s such a surprise!” Or, “We weren’t even trying. I’m not ready for this one!” As a woman who has never experienced this I must ask - How are you “accidentally” getting pregnant? I’m not trying to be funny. I seriously don’t understand what you …