Safe and Sound

Last night I had a dream that brought a lot of old familiar feelings rushing back. I dreamed that I had a baby I couldn’t keep. I reveled in being able to see her and touch her and yet my heart ached because I knew it couldn’t last. Of course there were a lot of things in the dream that wouldn’t make sense in real life, that’s how dreams go. But ultimately, I knew she was a baby that wouldn’t survive.

I know that sounds really morbid, but after losing four babies in early pregnancy, I have often wondered what they would have looked like. Were they boys or girls? Who were they? I won’t know until I reach heaven and I long for the day that I will get to wrap my arms around them and tell them how much I love them.

Having such a dream put me in a fragile state of mind this morning. I prayed that God would give me strength and grace and that this wouldn’t have to be one of “those days” where I can’t keep it together. They don’t come as often now, but every once in a while one of them still creeps in. And as I was praying, I heard the most beautiful sound - a baby crying. My baby. My beautiful, sweet, healthy Ariani. I scooped her up in my arms and breathed her in deeply and couldn’t even find the words to express my gratitude to God. All I could say was “thank You.”

The words to a song came to my mind as I snuggled my little girl this morning and I wanted to share them. It’s a song called Safe and Sound by Matthew West. (Of course. Who else?) And today as I still grieve the loss of four precious babies, I praise God for the beautiful miracle baby that he has blessed me with - Ariani Celeste.

If you are still waiting for your answered prayer, please don’t give up! Don’t lose hope. And while you wait, remember that God prunes those who are useful to Him, those who can grow and become strong and beautiful because of the pruning. And I hope someday you will be able to thank God for your own miracle.

Safe and Sound

Can't believe you're here now
Tiny dream come true
The answer to a prayer now
I'm so in love with you
Couldn't wait to meet you
Hope you like your name
I get the funny feeling
Life will never be the same

Safe & sound
You're here with me now
Like I hoped you'd be
Safe & sound
You're here with me now
And that's all I'll ever need

The world's a scary place here
But baby, it's alright
I'll make sure the coast is clear
So you can just sleep tight
But if you're afraid of monsters
Like everybody is
I'll be right beside you
Closer than a kiss

Safe & sound
I'm here with you now
And you will always be
Safe & sound
I'm here with you now
And that's all you'll ever need

Someday I'm gonna teach you
The reason why we pray
So that Heaven's love may reach you
Every single day
So baby, close your eyes now
And say a prayer with me
Lord, I lay me down to sleep now
But I know I will be

Safe & sound
You're here with us now
And we will always be
Safe & sound
You're here with us now
And that's all we'll ever, all we'll ever need
You're all we'll ever need


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