Reflections

As I sat in church tonight I was overcome with the deepest gratitude for the amazing life God has given me. Not so many years ago, I sat in the same sanctuary weeping as I heard songs and sermons about God using the hard times to help me grow, about how His plans are best and His ways are higher than mine, about how He is with me and He loves me, even in seasons of struggle. 

And I wept because I had dreams of having a second child. Dreams that were crushed over and over again. Infertility followed by recurrent miscarriages that left me feeling so low and left me wondering why God would allow such heartache. 

But I stayed faithful to Him. I trusted His Word. I knew that somehow, that hardship would turn into what I love to call “a better blessing.” During that time, I learned how to love God and how to be loved by God. 

And tonight, as the music and the preaching reminded me of the importance of trusting God in those dark times, I looked at my two beautiful girls, my two rainbows, and was overcome with gratitude for my God who has answered my prayers. I looked at my four-year-old little firecracker and my eyes welled up with tears because I spent years begging God for her. And now here she is, sitting next to me in church, making my life more exciting every day. 

If you’re in a dark time, hang on and hold on to God. Trust Him. Cry to Him. Cling to Him. He will always help you bear your burden and He has a plan you could never predict. A plan that is better than anything you could imagine. 

I’d like to share these thoughts from tonight’s sermon:

“Adversity develops character. It encourages self-awareness. It prepares you to be an encouragement to others in the future. It forces you to rely on the Lord. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your attitude and reaction to those circumstances.”

I know that without the difficult times in my journey, I wouldn’t be the mom, or the person, that God wants me to be. And I hope I will remember that when the hard times come again in the future.

I hope you will remember it too.