Our First Adoption Event

What is an Adoption Event?

When we finished our home study and finalized our paperwork, we were invited to an "adoption party." Our caseworker told us that it was an event that included caseworkers, resource families (or families like us who are waiting to adopt), and children in need of forever homes.

At first, I thought that sounded really strange and uncomfortable. It sounded to me like shopping for your child. But then I suppose that adopting through DHS is different than other kinds of adoption because there is so much openness before adoption occurs. Both the families and the child or children, as well as various caseworkers, have to agree that it is a good fit before things move forward.

We were told that it was likely that none of the children at the event would be in our age range, but that it was a good idea to come anyway, just to get some experience with kids who are waiting for their families and network a bit with resource workers. And at any rate, it was going to be a really fun party with plenty of things for our girls to enjoy. So we agreed to go.


Arriving at our First Adoption Party

When we arrived we met with our caseworker and she prepared us for what to expect and explained how these parties work. We checked in and received name tags to wear. Our name tags indicated that we were a resource family and their purple color indicated what region of the state we live in. Caseworkers representing families wore shirts in coordinating colors and caseworkers representing children wore a different kind of t-shirt so that we could recognize them. Kids who are currently waiting to be adopted wore lanyards with a specific type of name tag and volunteers running the various activities wore another kind of name tag. That might sound like a lot to keep up with, but it was actually pretty easy to figure out after just a few minutes. We were able to look around a room and see which kids were "waiting children" right away.

We were given a book which had photos and info of all the waiting children present. Each child had their own page with their photo, age, the region of the state that they are from, and the name of their caseworker. If we saw a child in the book who matched what we are looking for, we would be able to meet their caseworker and then meet the child and just have a brief, casual interaction with them.

Unfortunately, only one child in the entire book fit our family's current needs. And when we mentioned her to our caseworker she told us that she had just found out that morning that this particular child had just been matched and wouldn't be at the event.

So rather than meeting children, we just enjoyed an afternoon with our kids and got a sense of the great need there is in our state for families to adopt older children. It broke my heart to see so many lovely kids there who are still waiting for someone to give them the family they deserve.

The Need and the Desire

As long as I have had a desire to adopt and a heart for these waiting children, I have also had a stirring inside of me to adopt an older child. It's no surprise that these kids who are 8 years old and older are less likely to be adopted. And the older they get, the less likely it becomes. So many of these kids will float around in foster care until they turn 18 and age out of the system. And then what happens to them? Are they set up to succeed as adults? Do they have anyone who cares about them? Do they have anyone to spend holidays with? How can we let this happen?

My husband and I have our reasons for wanting to adopt a younger child right now. Our biological children are young and we know we want a good fit for our family at the stage we are at right now. But I have already been hoping that when our kids are a bit older we would be able to adopt again and adopt an older child who really needs us.

As we were at the party today watching our girls have their nails painted and looking around at the waiting children who were in the room, David leaned over to me and said, "I really do hope that later on we can adopt an older kid. There are so many of them that need families." I just nodded and said, "Me too." But my heart warmed at the knowledge that God has already been speaking to both of us about this need. An older child, a pair of siblings -- who knows what children God will allow our family to claim. But just knowing that my husband is open to future possibilities makes my heart glad.


The Wait

It seems as though we will most likely have quite a wait ahead of us. But for now, that's okay. We know we are on the right path and we believe that God will work things out in His time and bring the little girl who is meant for our family. So for now, we wait, and we listen to our girls pray every night for their "new sister" and we talk about her and we wonder about her and we thank God already for what we believe He will do through and for our family.