A Journey into Foster Care

Life has been a whirlwind, especially this past year. I went from being a stay-at-home mom to being a full-time teacher and then back to being a stay-at-home mom. Well, there is my photography business, but thankfully that’s part-time and flexible, not to mention something that breathes life into me rather than sucking it out.

All that to say that I haven’t had the time or energy to report our progress towards adoption in quite a while. It’s been a year since our initial application. Adopting without fostering is quite a waiting game, a game we haven’t minded playing. After all, we aren’t trying to fill a gap in our family or anything like that. But we do feel called to adopt and I am looking forward to it.

Something that has been on my heart since our training last summer is foster care. Initially, I had approached David about “fostering or adoption” and he leaned heavily toward adoption and had reservations about fostering. We talked and prayed about it and felt good about pursuing adoption. But the training is the same for both and as we sat in our training last summer we heard so many stories about kids who need “for now” homes as their parents made an effort to get help and make a change in their lives so that they could take proper care of their kids. So many kids in our state need a safe place to land while the work is being done to restore their families. So many kids need foster families who will bridge that gap. I felt so burdened about it. 

But then summer ended and school began and my life filled up with work and stress and busyness and waiting seemed like the thing to do. Because I knew that God wouldn’t send a child our way unless the timing was right. The school year ended and we made the decision that I would stay home for now so that I would be available for our biological kiddos as well as mentally and emotionally prepared for the work of integrating a new child into our family.

God always has a way of showing us what we need to know when we need to know it. Just a couple of weeks before school ended, an acquaintance of mine mentioned to me that the organization she works for also provides support as a foster care agency. She asked if I would be interested in talking with someone from her organization to find out more about the support they provide and the type of therapeutic foster care they are involved with. I told her that although I felt like I was ready to foster, I wasn’t sure my husband was, but that having the information couldn’t hurt. So I had her share my contact information with someone who would get in touch with me. 

I prayed for a couple of weeks while waiting for that phone call, that if this was the right time for us to foster, my husband’s heart would be opened to it. I was up front when I got the call, that we weren’t ready to foster at this time, but in the future, we might be. The caseworker did not pressure me at all; she simply gave me the information about what they do and how their agency could help us and told me that if we ever decided we wanted to jump in, to let her know.

To my surprise, it took just a couple of days for my husband to jump on board. With me at home, this would be a good time, and it would be great experience for a family looking to adopt in the future. It would be easy to worry about our biological kids and how they might be affected by a “troubled” child moving into our home and then again when the child moves out. But I know that even though we will experience difficult times during this new journey, God will use it all to build strength and character in each of us. And beyond that, and even more importantly, God will be able to use us in the life of someone else. 

Last week I read this verse, and although it has spoken to me so many different times, it reached a different place in my heart this time. 

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

Proverbs 3:27

Who is more deserving of good than a child? If we are able to do this, then I know that God will sustain us. I think we often are waiting for a “call” from God when what He really desires is that we just open our eyes, see a need, and then do something about it. You can spend forever waiting for the stars to align, for a sign, for a certain number in your bank account, for a nicer house, for whatever. But God just says that if you can do good, you should.

So here we are, on the paperwork train again. Filling out the same forms and going through the same meetings and signing up for training because simply moving a stack of paperwork from one office to another isn’t how it works. But if all goes according to schedule, we could potentially have a placement by the end of August. Just think of that! 

So I am back to diving into the books, reading on trauma, adoption, foster care, family adjustments, types of therapy, and so much more. Because I want to be the best “for now” mom I can be. I can’t wait to see who God brings into our family and I trust and hope that you’ll be praying for my family as we embark (soon!) on this new journey into foster care.





(image above from https://careersingovernment.com/tools/gov-talk/about-gov/public-sector-trends/national-foster-care-month/)