Nobody Knew You

Recently I received a book from someone I haven't seen in a very long time. In fact, my aunt and her mother are good friends but I haven't seen her since I was a young girl. But through the magic of the internet her mother learned about my blog and my story and sent me a link to her daughter's own blog post about miscarriage. It ministered to my heart in a great way and validated so much of what I was going through. I sent her a note to thank her for sharing her heart and she sent me a book! It is called Naming the Child by Jenny Shroedel. I started reading it this morning and already it has been a blessing to me. It's amazing the people God chooses to use to speak to us if we are just willing to listen - and I'm so glad He chose to use a friend from long ago to be an encouragement to me in this way!

All that being said, as I opened to the first chapter of the book I read this poem and it struck a chord with me. It is exactly how I have felt many times. I hope that if you have experienced the loss of a child you will find some validation in this poem and know that it's okay for you to remember and memorialize your lost child. No, it's more than okay, it's necessary for your own personal healing.

"Nobody Knew You"
by Jan Cosby

Nobody knew you
"Sorry about the miscarriage dear, but you couldn't have been very far along."

Nobody knew you
"It's not as though you lost an actual person."
...were real.

Nobody knew you
"Well it probably wasn't a viable fetus. It's all for the best."
...were perfect.

Nobody knew you
"You can always have another!"
...were unique.

Nobody knew you
"You already have a beautiful child. Be happy!"
...were loved for yourself.

Nobody knew you
...but us.

And we will always remember


  1. I want to thank you for sharing all that you do on this blog. I "stumbled" upon it as I was searching for words and ideas of comfort after losing my baby boy. My heart has been touched by each post of yours that I have read. Thank you for putting this out there for me to find.

    1. I am so sorry for your loss! Lifting you up in prayer today and hoping you can find comfort.


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