Intentional Living: Part 3 - Intentional Marriage

I have been married to my husband for five years now and we dated three years before that. I thank God for a wonderful man who loves Him, loves me, and loves our little girl! We have always had a good marriage. I can’t remember ever yelling at each other or being hurtful to each other on purpose, but that doesn’t mean our marriage is perfect. Like any couple we have our disagreements. And of course sometimes we hurt each other by our own selfishness. Even when we have the best days and weeks I don’t want to be complacent in my marriage. I am always wanting to make it even better!

Pray Together

One thing that I think is important for us is that we pray together. I hate to admit it, but this is something we are terrible at doing! When we were first married we prayed together every night, but for some reason we got out of the habit. We pray with our daughter every night, but what we need to do is to also pray together - just the two of us - each day. I started with a simple goal - to pray together once a week. From there we can continue to grow the habit!

Date Nights

Here is another buzz word. Everyone talks about the importance of date nights. Usually I hear people say that you should go on a date once a week. For us, this is completely impractical! First of all, we don’t have the extra spending money to go out every single week and eat at a restaurant or go see a movie. Secondly, we have so many other nights out for various reasons that sometimes the idea of going out isn’t even very appealing. I have settled for a goal of two date nights (or more) each month. We are blessed in that we both have our parents in town, so getting a babysitter is easy! Our date nights are usually simple - eating out somewhere relatively inexpensive or going and doing some activity we are both interested in. I’m excited for a few football game dates this fall!

With only two dates a month it doesn’t sound like we get much alone time, but that’s not really true. We have a lot of quality time scheduled into our week. We settled on a bed time for our daughter that was late enough that my husband can enjoy plenty of time with her when he gets home from work but is early enough that he and I have a couple of hours of alone time each evening as well. I consider a night snuggling on the couch and laughing at our favorite TV show a great mini-date! My husband is also fortunate enough to work four ten-hour days each week. That leaves us with three great family days each weekend and plenty of time to schedule those dates.

Love Languages

If you haven’t read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, you’re missing out! I have read it several times. My husband and I each took the test in the back of the book and we are trying to do our best to speak each other’s love languages. My primary language is “acts of service” so it’s natural for me to show my love for my man by cleaning and cooking and taking care of things around our home. But my husband’s primary love language is “physical touch” or affection. He is more likely to show me that he loves me by kissing me, hugging me, and rubbing my back. My goal is to be better at loving him in this same way. When I love him in his own language it really shows him how much I care! Be sure to check out this book and find out how you can better express your love to your spouse. You’ll be surprised at the difference it can make!

What about you? Do you have any special advice for strengthening your marriage? I would love to hear it! Post a comment below telling me your best ideas!

(This post is part of a series on intentional living. Be sure to check out the rest of the series!)


  1. The book "Love and Respect" is amazing! I also think it is important to search for things that you admire in your spouse.


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