Finding Peace In The Midst Of My Fear
Saturday
15 December 2012
Today my spirit is quieter, calmer. I still don’t have any kind of assurance that this pregnancy will be different than the last. But I know that my God is sovereign and in control. I was afraid to tell my family because I was afraid they would respond with more excitement than I could handle. And I was afraid I would become too emotional. But they responded so appropriately - with joy and understanding and promises of prayer.
First I called my mom. She didn’t make a big deal out of it. That was what I needed. Then I called my mother-in-law. She was thrilled that God was answering her prayers. She prayed that we would receive the Christmas gift of a new baby. And she even told me that two days ago when she saw me she really thought I was pregnant. How did she know before I did? I told my sisters-in-law who were both so supportive and so happy for me and promised to pray every day. How did I get so lucky to have this family?
I took another test this morning - just to put my mind at ease. (Don’t act like you haven’t done it!) It worked. I’m definitely pregnant. And I’m definitely already in love with this baby. It’s scary, but wonderful. And the funny thing is, my cat knew I was pregnant too. She has been sleeping next to my belly for the past three nights - like she always does when I’m pregnant. She has stayed by my side more than she usually does. Cats are funny like that. I’m thankful for the comfort that even my cat can bring to me. :)
I have been meditating on the verses from Psalm 139. God knows my baby, He is forming my baby, He knows every day my child will live, He is intricately weaving my child’s form together. He loves my child more than I do. The love of God is something amazing, something incomprehensible. I’m grateful that he has placed me on this journey yet again.
Monday
17 December 2012
God has given me peace about this pregnancy. Of course I can’t know for sure how it will progress, but I have a good feeling about it. The statistics are on my side. And honestly, I am just happy to carry this precious baby even if I only get to for a few weeks. God has been faithful and has answered my prayers and the prayers of my friends and family. I have never been so happy to be nauseous for hours each day, to be exhausted, to be overwhelmed by everyday smells. Those things tell me that my body is growing a baby! I am only four weeks pregnant, but happily so and I am looking forward to a growing baby and a growing belly and everything that comes along with it. I really loved being pregnant with our daughter and look forward to enjoying this pregnancy as well.
My God is good and so faithful.
If you missed the beginning of this story you can find it here: Same Story, New Chapter
If you'd like to read the next entry you will find it here: A Roller Coaster Of Emotions
15 December 2012
Today my spirit is quieter, calmer. I still don’t have any kind of assurance that this pregnancy will be different than the last. But I know that my God is sovereign and in control. I was afraid to tell my family because I was afraid they would respond with more excitement than I could handle. And I was afraid I would become too emotional. But they responded so appropriately - with joy and understanding and promises of prayer.
First I called my mom. She didn’t make a big deal out of it. That was what I needed. Then I called my mother-in-law. She was thrilled that God was answering her prayers. She prayed that we would receive the Christmas gift of a new baby. And she even told me that two days ago when she saw me she really thought I was pregnant. How did she know before I did? I told my sisters-in-law who were both so supportive and so happy for me and promised to pray every day. How did I get so lucky to have this family?
I took another test this morning - just to put my mind at ease. (Don’t act like you haven’t done it!) It worked. I’m definitely pregnant. And I’m definitely already in love with this baby. It’s scary, but wonderful. And the funny thing is, my cat knew I was pregnant too. She has been sleeping next to my belly for the past three nights - like she always does when I’m pregnant. She has stayed by my side more than she usually does. Cats are funny like that. I’m thankful for the comfort that even my cat can bring to me. :)I have been meditating on the verses from Psalm 139. God knows my baby, He is forming my baby, He knows every day my child will live, He is intricately weaving my child’s form together. He loves my child more than I do. The love of God is something amazing, something incomprehensible. I’m grateful that he has placed me on this journey yet again.
Monday
17 December 2012
God has given me peace about this pregnancy. Of course I can’t know for sure how it will progress, but I have a good feeling about it. The statistics are on my side. And honestly, I am just happy to carry this precious baby even if I only get to for a few weeks. God has been faithful and has answered my prayers and the prayers of my friends and family. I have never been so happy to be nauseous for hours each day, to be exhausted, to be overwhelmed by everyday smells. Those things tell me that my body is growing a baby! I am only four weeks pregnant, but happily so and I am looking forward to a growing baby and a growing belly and everything that comes along with it. I really loved being pregnant with our daughter and look forward to enjoying this pregnancy as well.
My God is good and so faithful.
If you missed the beginning of this story you can find it here: Same Story, New Chapter
If you'd like to read the next entry you will find it here: A Roller Coaster Of Emotions
I love your excitement and faith :-) Big congrats to you! I will be sending up prayers. It will all work out!
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